“Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which decision to take can sometimes be the most painful...” ― José N. Harris

“Don’t make the right decision; make the decision right.” – Ellen Langer

A few weeks back, I came across an amazing blog, which encouraged people to share a photograph of all the things they will save if their house is on fire. The photographs carried various things; money, camera, books, loved ones, pets, photographs, shoes, jewellery, food, passport, cell phones - the list is endless. The collection of photographs there is a tangle of emotions, practicality and the identity of an individual.

The post got me thinking. Is it really this easy to decide on the things you want to protect when all your entire life is on fire?

Think about it. Life does put you on many crossroads where you have to make difficult choices. Love or Career? Money or Ethics? Passion or Necessity? We all have made harsh choices in the past, still make it and will be doing so in the future as well. But, how does one assess what is right, what needs to be taken along and what needs to be left behind?

It is not the decision that we fear, but we have the fear of the consequences of it thereafter.

Personally, I feel that whenever we are standing on crossroads, we already know which path to take, but endlessly keep on evaluating the consequences and finding vague answers to the big question, “what if?” 

That's what messes things up.

 
The choices you make shape the picture of your life. Though some choices, decisions can be changed, but some are irrevocable, and if attempted to change can lead to serious repercussions. So,  how does one determine which path to take? How can one ensure that a decision made today will not be regretted tomorrow? Here's how...

Before you make a decision, work on the following five pointers to ensure you are on the right track.

Listen To Your Heart

I read somewhere a funny and wise thought – Follow your heart, but remember to take your brain with you! When making a choice, when going through the ifs & buts of a decision, silence all the noises and thoughts, and listen to what your heart is telling you. I know it is difficult to separate yourself from all the emotions one experiences while making a difficult choice. But, getting a hold of your wild running emotions is necessary to make a sensible choice.

Our brain is a wonderful machine. It gives you all the right logic, but sometimes certain situations are above the practical knowledge and guidelines of what's logical. Your mind may confuse you with a lot of irrelevant logic and practicality. Trust your heart, but use your brain as well. Too many emotions or loads of logic, both lead to bad choices and decisions.

Understand Yourself Better To make Correct Decisions

Once you get a hold of your emotions, it's time for self analysis. It is really important to think about your choices with a peaceful mind and heart. Therefore, do SWOT analysis about yourself, i.e. listing down your strengths-weaknesses-opportunities-threats. This will help you a lot in knowing yourself in a different light. When you make a decision that is based on your strengths, then it becomes easier to turn every adverse situation in your favour.

Compare Your Alternatives

List down the alternatives you have with you. Take each one separately and further list down the pros and cons of attempting each of the alternatives. Then, select the alternative that best suits your own SWOT analysis. It is crucial to select a path that is in harmony with your own self and your abilities. This exercise will clear up the entire picture to a great extent. From here, making a sensible decision becomes quite easy.

Always Have A Plan B

Whenever you are in doubt regarding how well a decision will go, it is wise to develop a plan B. Here, a plan B does not mean that you are diverting from the original decision, but it is a supportive plan to ensure that your taken decision works out just fine. Many-a-times the choices we make do not work as we intended them to. In such a case, you should try the next best possible way to achieve what you desire.

Chalk Out An Emergency Plan

 
In other words, this is a worst case scenario plan. Here, all you need to do is imagine the worst the consequences of a decision can throw at you, and then keeping a stable and sensible mind, make a plan that will work to pull you out of the mess.

See, hoping for the best is good – it keeps you working towards a better future, but simultaneously prepare yourself for the worst that a particular situation can put you in.

Understand. It is not about whether a decision is right or wrong. The consequences make a decision right or wrong. Work upon the consequences, put in your heart and soul to get the results you want. Once, you get the desired outcomes, the decision becomes right naturally.

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"Real help from real people in real time" - Google

If YouTube and Yahoo! Answers weren't enough for you for getting a satisfactory answer to all your queries, help has arrived!

 
Google (as always) has delivered an excellent platform where you can solve all your queries in real time. Quoted as “Real help from real people in real time”, Google Helpouts is the newest baby of Google which works as a medium between experts and curious people like you and me. You can ask for help or provide your expert help to those asking for it. On either end, the helpouts offered can be free or charged (totally depends on the expert).

The helpouts are categorised under eight categories – Art & Music, Computers & Electronics, Cooking, Education & Career, Fashion & Beauty, Fitness & Nutrition, Health and Home & Garden. So, almost everything under the sun is covered.

The topics covered are as varied as you can imagine – right from guitar lessons to gardening advice, from yoga instructions to Halloween eye make up! Plus, you can sort the helpouts by Best Match, Soonest Possible, Lowest Price and Best Reputation.

The unique selling point of this platform is the live video chats. The real time helpout sessions allow the expert and the enquirer to have an open conversation. Also, the expert can see where the person is going wrong and correct the mistake then and there. Unlike YouTube and other similar platforms, you don't have to wait for hours or days to get answers for your queries. You can ask as many queries as possible from the expert within the stipulated time.

To seek help from Google Helpouts, you are required to sign in through your Google Plus and Google Wallet Ids. You can search for helpouts under the provided categories, sort the results according to your requirements and conduct a live session with the expert. What's more is that you can check the next availability of your preferred expert, so you can schedule your session without any hassle.

Your Google Helpouts account will keep a track of all your past helpouts along with the upcoming ones. A bright green button on the right top corner of your account lets you give your own helpouts. No wonder professionals, retired individuals, marketeers and companies can benefit a lot from this green button!

 
Google Helpouts has just started, so how effective it will be, is still to be evaluated. But, one thing is sure, that whether you have a malfunctioning refrigerator, or want help regarding a DIY project, help is literally just a click away!

 
As of now, the world has a new toy to play with, let's see how long and how well Google Helpouts keeps the people amused.

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“A new inbox that puts you back in control” – Gmail 2013 update.

“You didn't say anything about the photographs I emailed to you” - That's my elder sister (quite annoyed!).

“But, I didn't get any email from you!” - This is me (Surprised, but innocent).

“You didn't get them, or you didn't have the time to go through them? You do this all the time” - She (now really annoyed!!).

“But, I didn't get any email from you!!” - Me (knowing this conversation will not end so soon).

After a few more blames were fired at me, I decided it's time to prove my innocence. I checked and rechecked my inbox and then after a few minutes of eye straining search, I found her email stuck between hundreds of Facebook & Twitter notifications!

Since then, often my emails got lost in the stack of notifications, sale information, auction prices and every other useless stuff. Sometimes I had a suspicion that my FB notifications and online shopping promotions were conspiring together to smother my relevant emails!! And, yes, I did try filters, labels and every other 'useful tip' to extract my important emails from the rest of the mad circus, but somehow it all ended in a failure.

Until NOW.

Thanks to the new update of Gmail, peace has been restored to my inbox!

Google has made a few delightful tweaks in Gmail that now automatically creates four different tabs – namely, Primary, Social, Promotions & Updates – to categorized and sort the inflow of your emails. As the tag line of the update says, a new inbox that puts you back in control, it really and aptly does so.

So, now when your cousin Brain invites you for a fishing trip or your aunt shares a family recipe with you, it snugly stays and waits for you in the 'Primary' tab. While whatever your friends, colleagues, friends of friends, outer space friends, etc. share on FB or Twitter or Instagram or on xyz social platforms, the notifications are filtered out from the main inbox and arranged under the 'Social' tab. Looking for season end sale or discounts? Click on the 'Promotions' tab, everything is lined up there! The 'Updates' tab contains all the bank statements, shopping receipts and confirmations, airline ticket confirmations, and other such needed information and confirmations.

Moreover, each of the tab has a notification icon, which lets the user know about the number of unread emails in a particular tab. Also, if you want to shift an email from one category to another, you just have to drag and drop it, and voila! All future emails will be added to the new category. It's that simple!

With a single click you can now jump from family to friends to lifestyle to business! How convenient and fun. Needless to say, this update has made my life a lot easier and my sister is not annoyed any more.

Though Gmail users are all smiles after the update, businesses that rely on email marketing have their eyebrows raised. The reason is clear. As all the promotional emails get shifted to an entirely different tab, the chances that a user will skim through the promotional emails on a daily basis are significantly lowered. Afraid that this change will adversely affect their sales, many companies are encouraging their users to pull their emails into their primary tab. Although there are no major effects as of now, the businesses are carefully monitoring their sales patterns to point out any major changes.

In between all of this, I wondered what's in it for Google? Happy users, I get that, but what apart from that? The answer is – higher advertising. Disturbed by the new update, many companies, which were earlier using free email marketing, may now opt to pay for the adjacent ads that appear on the right hand side of the screen to reach their targeted audience. Nice strategy Mr. G!

So, to sum it up, for the users, the new Gmail is remarkable – effortlessly organized and breathable! But, for businesses and companies who drive their marketing via emails, it may be an area of concern, if not now, then perhaps in the future. And, as for Google, it's money making time!

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Introspect:

Sit and talk. Not to anyone, but to yourself. Some where in the rat race of finding the best cheese, we have forgotten to talk to ourselves. When was the last time you had a quality conversation with yourself? No, I'm not talking about listing down the things to be done, planning your day, or thinking about your plans for the weekend. Here, I'm talking about an honest and free flowing conversation with oneself. When you analyse your journey until now and how far you are from what you want to achieve. When you focus on your development as a person, both professionally and personally. Where you decide on the larger goals of your life, where you search for answers for your unsolved questions.

I have many accounts in the virtual world; Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Gmail, Pinterest and many more such social platforms. I'm sure you must be on some of them, if not all. One of the top three reasons why people join social networking sites is to stay connected to friends. But, how connected are you with yourself? Isn't it important to stay connected to yourself?

Introspection is a time when you connect to yourself, when you greet yourself with a cheerful wassup! When you go through what has been written all over your wall and how you can make it better. Believe me, introspection can help find answers to the questions that Google has no knowledge about!

Invest time on yourself, regularly. Even if you have 15 minutes, talk to yourself and stay connected to your inner self. Write down your feelings and thoughts. Draw a picture of what you want to do, what you want to achieve. Introspection will help in understanding yourself better, you will develop a clarity of thoughts, you will focus better when you are aware of your inner self.

Note: The conversation you have with oneself is the best one. Count on it!

Develop A Hobby:

Hobbies are for kids and teenagers, blah, blah, blah! Right? Well, don't give me this logic. I am a great fan of keeping a hobby (lots of them!). I like everything about a hobby; it doesn't come with an age limit, you can jump from one hobby to another, it keeps you occupied, fuels your imagination & creativity and it is one of the best ways to connect to people who share your passion. Whether you have a thing for vintage stamps, or are a bike enthusiast, you can connect with many more passion driven people who take their hobbies seriously.

When my uncle retired, we all thought that it would be hard for him as he would miss his friends, his office and the daily schedule he followed for more than 30 years. But, we were delightfully surprised when he actively and excitedly engaged himself with little habits. He joined a yoga class, tried his hand at cooking (he makes the yummiest pancakes I have ever tasted!), took up gardening (something he always wanted to do). Within the first three months, the efforts started to show. He was fit and glowing, I became a permanent visitor for his famous Sunday pancakes, and the garden was decorated with all kinds of colourful flowers and plants. What came next was beyond our imagination. He adopted a kitten, a pair of rabbits and a pair of parakeets! We never knew he loved animals. And oh! could you see his joy! He was happy and content like a kid with his favourite lollipop!

A hobby proves as a gym to exercise your imagination, talent, creativity, passion and knowledge. It's a way to express your thoughts, a way to let your emotions out. With expanding work hours, your day as well as your night are dominated by work and related issues. Hobby works as a stress buster and provides the much needed cognitive relaxation.

Try new things, learn new hobbies. Do something that makes you happy. You never know, a simple looking hobby may perhaps become your passion.

Note: Hobby brings balance in your life and connects you to your inner self & many more people like you.

Connect With People:

Whatever happened to talking to friends over a cup of coffee? Blame technology? I don't think so. Technology has provided us with the means to stay connected to our people, but it is us who have to use this opportunity wisely. When I say to connect to people, I am not talking about posting something on someone's wall, or hitting like on every new 'random click' you see, or playing tweet-tweet. I'm talking of a heart-to-heart talk conversation with someone, where you share experiences, pour your heart out and listen to every word they say.

Unfortunately, many of us feel that making such efforts is a waste of time. Most of the time we are so engrossed in thinking about our life, our career, our tasks that we somewhere become disconnected from our circle of people.

How easy it is to bond with people is something that my 6 years old niece taught me. She has a huge fan following,and all she does is – Sit with the person (right from 5 years olds to 70 years old), greet them with a cheerful hello, ask their names, tell them hers and then she would ask how their day went! The older people would give her a surprised look and say, 'It was good/fine'. And, then she would say, 'Well, I hope it goes great tomorrow'. Such simple and honest conversation, and people instantly felt connected to her. Gradually, they would talk to her and share their stories, which she would peacefully listen. Most of the time, when the conversation ended, she would say, 'I wish I could help you, but I'll talk to God and ask him to help you instead'.

You instantly connect with others when you share your experiences and stories, when you do some thing together, when you relive old times. Bonding with those who inspire you or share a similar passion for something you believe in, helps you follow your own passion and keep yourself motivated.

So, meet up with an old friend, do things you did when you were kids, share your experiences, ask for advice. There are so many things that you can do, and who says new friends are not included? Say 'hi' to random people, talk about a movie or a book. Get to know them. It is an amazing experience.

Note: Don't talk, but converse. Listen and express.

Don't restrict yourself to these pointers, keep your imagination open and play with your creativity. It's your life, you are solely responsible for it. Make sure you fill it with all the ingredients you want to make it perfect & worthwhile!

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“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching” – Gerard Way

I remember attending a friend's brother's wedding. The groom was visibly excited and walking on air. What caught my attention though, was his very frequent (read really annoying) texting all through the wedding rituals. Curious, I asked one of my friends, 'What is he (the groom) up to?'. The reply I got left me in utter awe. The groom was updating his FB status, every 10 minutes! Your wedding is one of the most important and special days of your life, would you choose to be physically present and mentally absent on that day?

Technology has slowly elbowed its way into our lives and sometimes it becomes impossible to get away from it. Even 24 hours are falling short to accomplish tasks and manage your life. As the competition to stay ahead becomes fierce, we tend to forget ourselves and run in this maddening race. With 24x7 connectivity to our professional lives and every aspect of it, it has completely changed the way we shared, we enjoyed, we cherished and we lived.

It becomes necessary to unwind and live life like you wanted, there are a lot of things that you can do, but starting with the basics is always a good idea.

Prioritise:

This is one thing that settles and solves many of your time management problems. Whether you want to organise your day, your week or get a hold on your 'busy' schedule, differentiating what needs to be done now and what can wait will help you de-clutter your schedule. By setting your priorities straight, you can set time frames for each activity depending upon the nature of it. It is essential to strike a balance between your professional and personal life. Most people overlook their personal front as their professional tasks eat up a good chunk out of their personal time.

Mixing your personal and professional life is a lethal combination. Keep these two apart and set limits for each aspect of your life. Successful people know when and how to switch gears between their personal and professional lives. Most of us, forget to take off our professional hat when we reach home or are among friends. Avoid wearing two hats together. Along with your career, your family and friends need your time and attention too. Therefore, shift your focus to these different wings of your life according to the time and necessity.

In my previous company, a colleague of mine was considered very dedicated and professional. To keep this tag with him, he missed out on an important family function to voluntarily attend a 5 hours long session on 'The Importance of Work-Life Balance'!

There are many people out there like him, who misinterpret the words - professional, dedicated, sincere, asset-to-the-company, etc. Being professional doesn't mean sticking your eyes to your laptop screens for 15 hours a day, nor it means replying to every single email. It is more related to giving your 100% to the tasks assigned even if it requires to go that extra mile to get things done. The ability to manage your work effectively within the stipulated time is what makes you stand out from the rest.

It is important to categorise what activities are worth your time and what are not. Learn to use the 'Urgent-Important' matrix to categorise your tasks. Stick to your time-lines and know when something is not worth the efforts.

Note: You can't carry your career and relations together, you need to decide when and which one has to move to the back seat.

Remember To Live:

Shut off your devices and breathe! You don't carry the world on your shoulders. Even if you do, people can manage a few hours without you being there all the time. Yes, I agree, it feels great to be wanted and be always on-demand. But, soon all this will start taking a toll on your health and relations.

Learn to live for yourself. You may be a group head of your company (busy schedule, international conferences, late night brainstorming sessions, corporate living, etc.), but take a minute and think, 'what have you done for yourself?'. Does signing papers, making policies, taking critical decisions give you inner peace and happiness? Certainly not. What gives you happiness is the time you do something that you are passionate about, something that is close to your heart, whether it's having barbecue on Saturdays, or catching up with an old friend, spending time with your family or reading a novel, do it. Do it now!

Understand. I am not saying to throw away your job and pick up some left-in-the-middle-hobby/passion/task of yours. That would be stupid! You do need a job, a career to manage your life well. But, you should take out time to live for yourself or else, after 10 years or 15, you will be wondering where the hell your life went.

The key here is to learn to say no to things. Most of the time, we have so much in our plates that we overlook our own needs, and keep adjusting other irrelevant and unnecessary stuff into our lives. And, once this starts happening, it becomes a habit. A habit of ignoring oneself. Don't fall for it, don't take yourself for-granted. Take out time for yourself. Enjoy your 'Me' time. Once, you prioritise your day/week or month, you will have a good amount of time to do things you love, that's what makes the difference.

Note: Believe and follow the mantra: You Only Live Once!

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